Like it or not, the world we live in is one where the moment you finish your last piece of candy corn, the clock strikes midnight, Mariah Carey immediately comes on the radio, and it’s no longer Pumpkin Spice Latté season. It’s November now, and that means the Holidays are in full swing.
Perhaps the most annoying thing about this time of year is mastering the charade of buying thoughtful gifts for people in your life that you may not actually give two hoots about, but who might be dangling a hefty bonus in front of you come December 23rd. Or maybe it’s Uncle Leo, who silently (but obviously) judges each family member based on the kind of wine they bring for turkey dinner. What a guy.
One thing I’ve learned over the years is that there truly is no better gift than a great bottle of wine. Nothing else you give to someone, short of a wad of cash, is going to get used. It’s just the reality.
With a plethora of Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and Holiday deals going on at TagLiquorStores.com, I, Steven, aka your very own Certified Drunken Sommelier™, will guide you through how you can buy the right wine for the right person and put all of your other colleagues and family members to shame with your new-found and wondrous gift-giving ability.
Shop online for delivery at www.tagliquorstores.com if you’re feeling skittish about using your hovercraft out there in the Fraser Valley, or pop into one of TAG’s locations in the lower mainland and load up your canoe with these selections (conveniently on sale!) for all the characters in your life.
1. How to Buy Wine For…Your Boss
A tricky proposition, indeed. We certainly want to impress our respective professional superiors. But how? We want to be the favourite pet, but we don’t want to make it look like we’re making too much money, lest they ease off on that bonus you know they have in their top drawer. When buying for the cheese, I like to choose wines with some pedigree, stuff that people recognize, stuff that you could picture a boss of any type swirling in their study, surrounded by ostentatiously upholstered furniture and leather-bound books. The last thing you want to do is buy a bottle that requires too much explanation, looks too cute, or has a reputation for being pounded by hooligans down by the river.
For this reason, go with a staple: Mt. Boucherie Merlot. Rich, smooth, spicy and elegantly adorned with a sharp-looking label, this will hit the spot. To boot, this number is also on sale and can be had for a price reminiscent of the days of yore, back when your boss was busy sucking up to their boss.
Save $9.85
Black Friday Price $16.80
(Price available until Nov 28 while supplies last)
2. How to Buy Wine For…Your In-laws
Ahh, the in-laws. No matter how stuffy they are, how gauche, and how judgemental, for some reason we still feel the need to appease their idiosyncrasies for the sake of those sweet words that our spouses will utter to us at the end of the night: “Honey, thank you for being so good with my parents, I know they’re crazy.” Victory is now yours.
Since our family isn’t going anywhere and they can’t fire us, it’s safe to take greater risks with them. You can practice your flair for the dramatic and show off a little more. Tell a story, get everyone excited. Since the meal is likely to be turkey, a smooth Pinot Noir is the way to go, and what better option than one of the pioneers of Sonoma County, Rodney Strong. Since I’m coaching you here, Rodney Strong was a famous ballet dancer on Broadway in his hey-day. Later in his career, he started searching North America for a place to plant vines in his retirement. He found the Russian River Valley in California, laid down his roots, literally, and planted Chardonnay and Pinot Noir. Luscious red fruits with subtle earth and spice notes, this wine is at once full of sumptuous flavours and textures, all while being remarkably light on its feet like ol’ Rodney himself back in the day.
Hey, if your in-laws don’t appreciate that you’re a person of the higher senses and the arts after this, then I can’t help you.
Save $9.35
Black Friday Price $24.35
(Price available Nov 24 - Nov 28 while supplies last)
3. How to Buy Wine For…Your Own Holiday Party
As the master of your domain, it’s important you recognize that though you believe there to be goodwill and cheer on the part of the guests that will flock to experience your hospitality, the truth is that they’re a bunch of lushes who just want to drink you out of house and home. The trick to choosing wines for your holiday party is to find a couple that you enjoy, but that you won’t feel bad about sharing liberally with the riff raff who came to guzzle it. The other side of this is that you still want something that you feel good about serving to that one important guest, or that recent divorcée that you’ve been crushing on for the last decade (sounds like something out of Love, Actually, no?).
So in short, we need cheap-ish, cheerful wines that quite seriously don’t suck. Watch me whip.
For the white, we need something down the middle. I’ve written about it before, yes, but there really isn’t a better option at a better price point than the Mt. Boucherie Pinot Gris. A little skin contact gives it a natural, pinkish hue, which seems to get everyone blushing just a tad more as they near the mistletoe. At a deep discount during TAG’s Black Friday events, you can afford to buy a case.
Save $8.75
Cyber Monday Price $16.50
(Price available Nov 29 - Dec 6 while supplies last)
For the red, nothing says Christmas like Zinfandel. Warm, full-bodied, silky, with all sorts of flavours of sweet spices, Seven Deadly Zin packs the profile that will get everyone in the mood. Honestly, there’s not a style of wine in the world I personally enjoy more by a cozy fire, especially when accompanied by the senseless drivel of total strangers at a holiday party. And in that situation, I don’t just enjoy it: I need it.
The best part about this wine is that it would normally fall a little outside of the price point I would deem appropriate for “party wine”, but thanks to a deep, deep Black Friday deal here, you can snag a bunch for your buddies to quaff liberally.
Save $10.81
Black Friday Price $19.99
(Price available until Nov 28 while supplies last)
4. How to Buy Wine For…Yourself
If you’ve been reading this and you’ve found yourself on the short end of Mr. Scrooge’s nice list, you’d also do well to save a few more bucks by picking up a bottle (or 12) of the Don David Reserve Malbec. Deep in colour and texture, Don Dave is a welcome addition to many a quiet night in my home. Sometimes, it’s just me, a perfectly grilled porterhouse steak, a great record, and a bottle of Don David. The party season isn’t for everyone, so if you need to stock up for your own medicinal purposes (I’m not a doctor, I just play one on TV…), then run, don’t walk, to your nearest TAG Liquor Store to pick up some Donny.
Save $9.70
Black Friday Price $12.25
(Price available until Nov 28 while supplies last)